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DR WHO DAT: Hollywood star Chiwetel Ejiofor tipped for Dr Who role.

NOW THAT Matt Smith is set to hang up his Dr Who bowtie, there is little doubt that the Time Lord is to get a sex change or a race transformation.  

Hollywood star Chiwetel Ejiofor is the bookies favourite to be the first bruvva from another planet with the lead role in the series. And by all accounts, Chiwetel is keen to exterminate all the opposition in his bid to be the first black Dr Who or more precisely, the first Dr Who Dat.

But I'm not so sure.

Remember, he's a Time Lord. Black people are simply not 'masters of time'. It's that old African Mean Time/Caribbean Summer Time business that is at least two hours later than everyone else in any time zone.

I know it's an old cliche, but it's true. I'm sure I'm not the only one who invite my black dinner guests round a full 24 hours before my white friends. On my wedding day/night, Baby Father author Patrick Augustus and journalist Mikey Massive arrived at 6.00 am as me and my missus were about to disappear to our honeymoon suite. It's that kind of timekeeping that will give a black Dr Who a bad rep.

Wasn't it at the 1972 Olympics that the Russian Valeriy Borzov became the first white man in however long to win the gold medal in the 100 metres because the black Americans thought 15.00 hrs was five o'clock and arrived at the starting line for the final two hours late?  

And it's not just black folks who tell lies to get us to “the church" on time. Why, just the other day, I went to see a press preview of the excellent teenage movie It's A Lot (coming to a cinema near you in July), written, starring and co-directed by Femi Oyeniran (Anuvahood). I got there two hours early.

Now, I don't know what the film's promoters were trying to say, but there were a whole lot of black guys standing around Soho two hours early. Having said that, a couple of black guys arrived at the cinema just after the film finished, so maybe the movie people know all about BMT aka AMT.

So you see why I'm not sure if we should all be crying out for a black Dr Who to fulfil that stereotype? Instead, we should “exterminate" such bad practices. Exterminate! Exterminate! Unless of course it is part of our DNA and we can't do anything about it. In which case, we should “celebrate" such practices.

Celebrate! Celebrate! Celebrate! Sorry Chiwetel, forget the Time Lord thing. Let a woman be the first Mrs Who. We are Daleks, not Dr Whos.