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When self-help books don't work

POSITIVE CHANGES: While it’s good to read self-help books it’s important not to fall into a situation where that’s all you do

HOW BADLY do you want your life to change and improve?

How much have you studied up on self-help, personal development and success? How many articles and publications have you read?

While research, thought and planning are important tools on your path to success, they are not the only weapons in your arsenal and in fact might even be hindering your success if you give in to the easy choice of becoming a perpetual student of success.

If you read every self-help book available, then you will never become a success, because most likely, you’ll have developed a habit of not acting on the information you’re reading about.

While it is very important to listen to advice, eventually you are going to have to take action – and that can’t be done while you’re reading.

Negative thinking
Our every thought either takes us toward our goals and desires or away from those goals and desires.

Therefore, every thought has a positive or negative effect on the direction of our lives.

Compare your brain to a computer. If a new PC is loaded up with virus contaminated programmes, would you expect it to run smoothly?

Of course not, because you get out of the computer exactly what you put in.

As my former computer programming teacher always said, “garbage in, garbage out” – and your brain is exactly the same.

Your every thought determines the direction of your life. If you are moving backwards, then take time to analyse your thoughts.

Make a determined effort to recognise negative thoughts and treat them as your worst enemy.

Try not to dwell on them. Putty can be moulded into any shape or form and so, too, your life can be shaped and your destiny set by your thoughts.

Find someone to talk to
If you find yourself weighed down by a lot of negative thoughts find a way to let them out. If you have a considerate, non-judgmental friend who is willing to listen, then vent.

Pets are great sympathetic listeners. You can also use a journal to vent your negative thoughts.

A good friend of mine recently went through a very difficult time, professionally and personally.

While she did a fair amount of crying on the shoulders of her loved ones, she found it counterproductive because they were too sympathetic and that sympathy would often only emphasise her sense that she’d been wronged.

She needed to find a way to break that cycle and take some form of action so she could move on.

She wrote out her frustration and anger and then held a symbolic burning party. I haven’t tried her method myself, but am holding it in reserve for future tough times.

Chance of change
The potential for change is the same for everyone, but it only takes acceptance of the idea that change is possible, coupled with the determination to follow through by taking action.

It’s not always easy to do this but certainly not impossible, and the rewards can last a lifetime.

There are many books on the subject of self-help, but remember, you must take action to succeed.

Your thoughts will not change simply by reading an article or book. You must apply what you learn to your everyday affairs.

Allow what you read to awaken the possibility of change within you, then do something to achieve that change.

Putting it into action
Find opportunities to put the power of your positive thinking to work.

For example, you might be standing in a long line at the supermarket checkout.

If you are someone who is living with anxiety or depression, rather than get upset in this situation, do your utmost to help out and encourage others with a kind word or compliment.

You will be surprised at the positive reaction and at how many people will bless you with a wonderful smile in return.

Taking the time to notice others and look for the “good” in every situation will not only lift your spirits, but will brighten the day for everyone around you – it’s a win-win situation to be sure.

There are a thousand and one ways to look for the good in others – be they family, friends or those you may only meet once.

So, get the lead-out, get rid of those negative thoughts and become a winner.

The time starts now
Begin today to change your thought patterns one step at a time.

Set yourself a goal for the week or month and devote full attention to bringing about the positive changes that you desire to see manifested in your life.

Start with at least one hour each day and increase the time as your confidence and thinking improve.

It is a habit that needs nurturing and a habit you’ll come to cherish.

If you accentuate the positives in your life and concentrate on making more positive changes, then there will be no stopping you on your road to success.

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